2019.02.15 友谊档案 的介绍

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Introducing ‘The Friendship Files’
A new series that tells stories of human life through conversations with friends

By Julie Beck

Wenjia Tang
FEBRUARY 15, 2019
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Today, The Atlantic is launching a new series of interviews that we are calling The Friendship Files. It will feature a weekly conversation between me and two or more friends, talking about the history and significance of their relationship—how they met, the way their friendship evolved over the years, what they mean to one another, that time one of them borrowed a sweatshirt and didn’t give it back for 20 years, and so on.

Friendship is the most flexible category of relationship—it can ebb and flow with the tides of busyness; it can stretch and contract to fill whatever space people make for it; it can evolve over the seasons of a life; it can weather a long dry spell or wither away. Friendship’s strength—and its weakness—is that friends choose one another. And with no shared cultural script for how a friendship should progress, like the one that exists for romantic relationships, friends have to figure it out for themselves.


Friendships are rarely considered to be people’s primary relationships—that honor falls to family, or romantic partners. Those are the relationships that get the most research, and most of the epic storytelling. The Friendship Files is a corrective to that, an invitation to read about the internal dynamics of a wide range of friendships, and a reminder that these relationships, while not defined by blood or law, shape and anchor our lives too.

When I started this project, I worried that perhaps talking with friends about their friendships week after week might start to get repetitive, or boring—but that wasn’t the case. People are at their most generous, their funniest, and their most fascinating when talking with and about their friends. Doing these interviews has been one of the greatest joys of my career so far, and I can’t wait to do more.

The Friendship Files is launching today with four Q&As, and we will add a new one every week, starting next Friday. Here is our opening lineup:

A Friendship Baked in the Great British Bake Off Tent
“You need a bowl or a whisk and one of your baking friends will get it for you. You know those trenches in the war? It’s kind of like that.”
What It's Like to Make a Friend on Bumble BFF
“People can be really judgmental, like, 'What’s wrong with you that you can’t make friends by yourself?' But it's honestly really hard to do it naturally.”
He Returned His Friend’s Sweatshirt 20 Years After He Borrowed It
“It became my most meaningful piece of clothing that I owned.”
When a Teacher Becomes a Friend
“I think we just started coming to Mr. O's room for lunch. I don't even know if we asked permission. Probably not.”

I am always looking for friends who would be a good fit for this series—friends who met in an interesting way, who have gone through an unusual experience together, or whose story illuminates a particular facet of modern friendship. If you or someone you know fits the bill, please send a nomination to friendshipfiles@theatlantic.com and tell me a bit about what makes this friendship unique.

Julie Beck is a senior editor at The Atlantic, where she oversees the Family section, and is the creator of “The Friendship Files.”



友谊档案 "的介绍
一个新的系列，通过与朋友的对话讲述人类生活的故事

作者：朱莉-贝克

唐文佳
2019年2月15日

今天，《大西洋》杂志推出了一个新的采访系列，我们称之为《友谊档案》。它将以我和两个或更多朋友之间的每周对话为特色，谈论他们关系的历史和意义--他们是如何认识的，他们的友谊多年来的演变方式，他们对彼此意味着什么，那一次他们中的一个人借了一件运动衫，20年都没有归还，等等。

友谊是最灵活的关系类别--它可以随着忙碌的浪潮起伏；它可以伸展和收缩，以填补人们为它创造的任何空间；它可以在人生的四季中演变；它可以经受长期的干旱期或枯萎。友谊的力量和它的弱点是，朋友们彼此选择。由于没有共同的文化剧本来说明友谊应该如何发展，就像浪漫关系那样，朋友们必须自己想出办法。


友谊很少被认为是人们的主要关系--这一荣誉落在了家庭或浪漫伴侣身上。这些关系得到了最多的研究，也得到了大多数史诗般的故事。友谊档案》是对这一点的纠正，它邀请人们阅读各种友谊的内部动态，并提醒人们，这些关系虽然不是由血缘或法律界定的，但也塑造和固定了我们的生活。

当我开始这个项目时，我担心也许与朋友们周而复始地谈论他们的友谊会开始变得重复或无聊，但事实并非如此。人们在与他们的朋友交谈时是最慷慨的，最有趣的，也是最迷人的。做这些采访是我迄今为止职业生涯中最大的乐趣之一，我已经迫不及待地想做更多的采访。

友谊档案》今天推出了四个问答，从下周五开始，我们将每周增加一个新的问答。以下是我们的开幕阵容。

在英国烘焙大赛帐篷里烤出的友谊
"你需要一个碗或一个打蛋器，你的一个烘焙朋友会帮你拿。你知道战争中的那些战壕吗？这有点像那样。"
在Bumble BFF上交朋友是什么感觉？
"人们可能真的会评头论足，比如，'你有什么毛病，不能自己交朋友？但说实话，要自然地做到这一点真的很难。"
他在借走朋友的运动衫20年后将其归还。
"它成为我拥有的最有意义的一件衣服。"
当老师变成了朋友
"我想我们刚开始到O先生的房间吃午饭。我甚至不知道我们是否征求过同意。可能没有。"

我一直在寻找适合这个系列的朋友--那些以有趣的方式相遇的朋友，他们一起经历了不寻常的经历，或者他们的故事照亮了现代友谊的一个特殊方面。如果你或你认识的人符合这个条件，请将提名发到 friendshipfiles@theatlantic.com，并告诉我关于这种友谊的独特之处。

朱莉-贝克是《大西洋》杂志的高级编辑，她负责家庭专栏，是 "友谊档案 "的创建者。